The Relationship Scan

The online help for relationship problems

Do the scan

You have a relationship, but something feels weird, figuring out what's wrong and making it clear and discussing it with your partner is difficult. ​Do both, but apart from each other, the Relationship Scan, you will quickly gain insight into similarities and bottlenecks, making talking to each other much easier.

Believe in your own strength and possibilities. Bring the music back into your relationship!

A happy relationship does not come naturally

When there are issues in a relationship, people get out of balance. Emotions and insecurity get the upper hand, talking about emotions, feelings and thoughts becomes increasingly difficult. There is a danger of losing interest in each other and growing apart, which ultimately can lead to a divorce. Keeping a relationship healthy is not easy. Talking to each other, having an eye for each other's lives, wishes and worries and sharing intimacy is necessary to avoid losing each other.

To support couples we have developed an online method. With this we want to contribute to having a happy relationship and to prevent unnecessary or complex divorces. Creating a safe environment for the children is an important goal of this method. When children see that their parents can solve their problems through good communication and jointly finding solutions for their problems, they learn to do this themselves.

Why online?

  • You get the opportunity to express feelings, thoughts and wishes without interference
  • Because of the structure of the questions and writing down the answers, you are forced to think about what is going on
  • Your own role and that of the other about your relationship is objectively examined
  • Your answers and those of your partner are listed side by side in the report. In this way you get to know each others thoughts and feelings objectively

Get Started

The Relationship Scan

The Relationship Scan consists of two modules:

  • A structured interview about thoughts, feelings and concerns regarding the past, present and future of the relationship
  • Relationship Test, Quality of Relationship Inventory (QRI)

When you have completed the survey, you will receive a report with your individual results, with explanations and tips. If both of you finished the survey you will receive a report with your results next to each other so you can read each others answers. This report makes clear on which topics you think the same and what your bottlenecks are within your relationship. Read the report first carefully yourself, take your time. Choose a quiet moment to start the conversation with your partner. Try using the tips during the conversation.

Click here for an example report.

Get a grip on your Divorce

If divorce is inevitable, make sure that everything is properly arranged in the interest of the children.

Get is grip on your Divorce is made up of three modules:

  • 1. Open questions about thoughts, feelings, emotions and concerns regarding past, present and future.
  • 2. Preparation Parenting Plan
  • 3. Preparation (im) material matters.

When both of you have completed the surveys you will receive a report with your results, an extensive in-depth explanation and tips. The report makes clear what is going well and where there are bottlenecks. First read the report carefully yourself, take the time to do this. Choose a quiet moment to start the conversation with each other. Try to use the tips during the conversation.

Click here for an example report.

Me in the Relationship

If you want to gain insight into your individual traits and behavioral styles, then make Me in the Relationship. The report shows your role in communication with your (ex) partner and gives tips and tricks that will make the conversation easier.

Click here for an example report.

About us

Hetty van der Hek

Hetty van der HekAfter my education as a psychiatric nurse, I studied psychology, with specialization methods and techniques, at the UVA in Amsterdam. Having worked at the VU Amsterdam and for diverse businesses for years, I now have my own methodological consulting firm (

The challenge for me in the development and implementation of the Van-Elkaar method, is to design a low-threshold method to help people who are dealing with conflicting interests and help them to regain their own self-determination and finding solutions. ​Solutions acceptable to both parties.

Annette Teunissen

Annette TeunissenAs a nurse, home care coordinator and volunteer in socially involved organizations, I have experienced that physical and mental health and social well-being go hand in hand and are inextricably linked. In order to understand the connection between these elements and the thoughts, feelings and behaviour of people, I studied Applied Psychology.

My knowledge, life experience and sincere involvement in social issues and personal trauma led to the development of the Van-Elkaar method. Which supports people with relationship problems or in a divorce situation in finding a new balance in their lives and those of their loved ones.